Tips for Indians to agree or disagree a marriage proposal? What counts more - age,education, financial status or ...

It is said that marriages are made in heaven. In India, marriages are made in hotels, communities halls and farm houses. I am saying all this because majority of marriages in India are still arranged marriages and these are arranged by parents of both sides. Surprisingly, arranged marriages are more successful and happier than love marriages. In such marriages consents of the both girl and boy are sought before finalizing these marriages. However, a decade back it was customary not to seek the consent of either boy or girl going to marry. Logic for success in such marriages is mainly considered to be matching criterias like age, education, family background etc. In love marriages such considerations are given less weightage or even ignored. Love marriages are considered successful in the begining but later on majority of such marriages results in breaking of relationship.

Irrespective of mode of marriage, the most important question is what points need to be considered before saying yes or no to a marriage proposal? Criteria may differ, however, depending on your gender. If you are a girl, you have limited options with you, at least in developing countries like India or Pakistan. You are lucky if you are a boy but freedom or advantage of being a male should not get you in a fix over the time (being in the state of indecisiveness). I've observed in several cases, the prospective boys and girll became overage due to their sky high expectations. Since the matter is very crucial, we'll discuss all the points carefully (Most of discussion in this hub is in Indian context).

1. Physical appearance: In case of arranged marriages, preference to select a candidate (girl) for marriage always rests with the parents or relatives of the male candidate. Case may be reverse also if family of the girl has higher social status than the boy's family. It won't be out of context here to inform that young girls and boys in India are more sentimental compared to other countries as they are great fan of bollywood movies and they always try to match the appearance of would be husband or wife with the film actors or actresses. While trying to find a match similar in appearance to their favorite hero or heroine, they end up rejecting a score of girls or boys in the screening process. A time comes after few years, when they have to settle for an inferior match. This raise the most important argument for discussion. Is the external appearance of a girl or boy so important? The answer to this question after lot of discussion emerges something like this: Don't look for extra-ordinary beauty. Their must always be a match of everything otherwise problems like "cheating wife" or cheating husband arises.

2. Color:Try to marry with the candidate of matching color. Appearance or looks should also be matching to live happily. There are always exceptions and one may find husband and wife of contrasting skin colors living happily together. So, try to have a match, if possible.

3. Height: Matching height is the most important criteria that must be borne in mind while finding a match. Best match is one where girl height is 2-3" short than the boy. Girl should never be taller than the boy.

4. Physique: Although physique of both male and female is likely to change after marriage or after birth of children, it's better if both girl and boy are either slim or obese .However, problems have been reported in child birth (conceiving) if both husband and wife are obese.

5. Age: Results of a study on marriage and divorce were published few days back. Study conducted by researchers at Bath University found that a woman, with superior education, marrying a man five or more years older made them a happy couple. This conclusion holds good for people belonging to both developed and developing countries. This is true in all senses and applicable to Indian couples also. However, difference between man and woman should not be more than 8-10 years otherwise it would lead to divorce or separation. Chances of separations are more if a woman id older than the man. Study also revealed that such couples are three times or more as likely to divorce then they were the same age group. Hence, couples belonging to same age group have more chances to lead a happy and stable life.

6. Education: Study suggested that there were more chances of stable married life if woman was more educated than man. In Indian conditions, education of woman did not matter few years back but now things are changing. There is a change in thinking of people. Earlier,male dominated society did not favor the idea of woman doing a job outside her home. However, it is getting difficult day by day to provide good facility and education to children if man is the only earning member of the house. Hence, an educated male would prefer to have an educated wife. If both husband and wife belong to same field of education, it make them a perfect couple.

7. Family background: If both male and female are from similar background (financially and socially), there are more chances of a stable and happeir married life compared to couple belonging to dissimilar background. If husband belongs to a greedy family then wife belonging to financially sound family had more chances of a comfortable life at in-laws house. If she belongs to a poor family, she shall always be teased for her family background. However, this all depends on the understanding of husband. If he is a practical man and has longsightedness, he can manage the things in future.

8. Adjusting nature: This is the important attribute. If both husband and wife has adjusting nature and always ready to compromise, more chances of a happier married life exist. If any of them is greedy and never ready to compromise, life of both may become hell in the future. Hence, give most of the point (weightage) to this aspect. It would take care of rest of things.

9. Other factors: Married life is likely to be happeir if both are bachelors and first timers or both are divorcee. If only one among two has been a divorcee, than chances of survival of relationship becomes dim.